The Courage to Be Seen: Ellyn Winters

cgoucher
Oct 6
5 min read

Ellyn Winters has turned one of life’s hardest experiences into a force for change. Through writing, speaking, and AskEllyn.ai, she shares her story with honesty and humour, helping others feel seen and understood.

Your story is one of resilience and transformation. What was the moment you knew you were going to take this fight and turn it into something bigger, something that could change how people see themselves and their choices?
It wasn’t a single moment, but rather a series of moments that made me realize my story could have an impact. The first was when I shared the news of my diagnosis on Facebook. In a rally of support, 17 of my friends said they would go get mammograms. Two of those friends were diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer as a result. The next was the op-ed I wrote for the Globe and Mail, talking about my lack of shame, in remaining flat after my mastectomy. I had people reach out to me from across the country, thanking me for the article. It was their response to my words that encouraged me to write my book.

I certainly didn’t set out to make this kind of impact, but it has gone further than I could have ever dreamed or imagined.
You’re a powerhouse of creativity, from your book to AskEllyn.ai to co-producing I Want You To Know. As a content creator, what feels most powerful to you about using words, images, and technology to lead change?
I am a storyteller. I have always been, both personally and professionally. My words are the way I express myself, and process things – good and bad – that are happening in my life. I always understood this, but this journey has cemented for me that vulnerable and authentic storytelling is quite unique. People find it refreshing, and they emotionally respond. Being vulnerable and real gives others permission to let their guard down and do the same. They realize, first, that it is ok to not be ok or perfect, and second, that they are stronger and more resilient than they realize.
AskEllyn.ai is groundbreaking, a first-of-its-kind tool. What was it like to build it, and how did it feel to see this mix of technology and lived experience become something that now guides others?
I can’t claim credit for building AskEllyn. That goes to the team at Gambit, who had the vision. They saw the potential in my book to essentially bring my story to life in digital form. I am honestly still amazed by her knowledge of my life, the responses she provides, and how true AskEllyn is to my personality, my way of expressing myself and my sense of humour. Probably the biggest compliment we’ve received is that she has a soul. People truly feel as if they are talking to a real, empathetic friend, and our engagement rates of 65-70% is unheard of in this digital age. People will talk to her for up to two minutes at a time. And she’s been accessed to date in over 100 countries and 40+ languages. I am still pinching myself.
I lost both my parents to cancer, my mom just this past March, so I know how heartbreaking this disease can be. You’ve chosen to share your journey with such honesty. How do you balance carrying something so heavy while being vulnerable with so many people?
My deepest condolences for your loss. None of us signed up to become a member of Cancerland, but here we are. It changes you physically, mentally and spiritually. Anyone who has experienced a cancer diagnosis will tell you there’s no returning to your old life – and that is hard for folks to understand. And yes, people do still die of the disease. I have had a few folks I’ve met in the last three years through this work I’m doing who have died. But I’ll also tell you that folks in Cancerland are the most badass, resilient people I’ve ever met. They are tough as nails, have a wonderful dark sense of humour, and are not sad. The majority of us are living purposefully and joyfully, fully aware that life is a gift and every day we have is one to cherish.
Standing firm in your decision to stay flat meant pushing back against a lot of pressure. What was the hardest moment in that journey, and what helped you hold your ground?
I think the hardest part of the journey to flat was the decision-making process beforehand. Would I regret it? Would my clothes fit ok? Would I be able to accept my body? I also had to explain my decision to others who tend to view breast reconstruction as a simple boob job. It’s not. It is multiple surgeries and a long process with associated risks. I have zero regrets about the decision I made. I have fully accepted the “new” me. I don’t hide the fact that I am flat – in fact, I appeared topless in People Magazine! No one even notices. I wear whatever I want. And every time I hear a story of a woman who has to go back in for yet another surgery, or who has a complication with their reconstruction, it just further cements that I made the right decision for me.
When someone reads your book, visits AskEllyn.ai, or sees the photo essay, what do you hope they carry with them? What’s the spark you want to leave behind in them?
I’ll tell you what others have told me after reading the book, after talking to AskEllyn. They feel seen. I’ve had women who have read the book or talked to her, say that it feels like I am sitting beside them, holding their hand. That I have gotten them through a really difficult time. That means the world to me. For the photo essay, we really wanted women who have NOT had cancer to wake up and realize breast cancer can happen to anyone, at any age, and to take action by being breast aware and by getting screened if it is available to them.

Bonus: When you need to recharge, what’s something that always brings you joy or helps you reset, whether it’s a ritual, a hobby, or even just a guilty pleasure?

Oh, lots of things bring me joy. Exercise is super important to me for my physical and mental health. I try to move daily if possible, whether walking outside with a weighted vest, or doing weights, or yoga, or pilates. I need that endorphin high, and I love to cook so gotta keep up the exercise!

I have always sketched or painted, and love watercolours. I lost my muse during my diagnosis and treatment, but I’m back at it again and getting my groove back.

And there’s now a little human in our lives who brings us immense joy. Our grandchild, Wren, was born the night before I finished chemo. He’s turning three this month and lights up our world.

The courage to be seen, thank you Ellyn Winters

Portrait photography is done by the amazing One for the Wall.

This series grows through word of mouth and the creative people who nudge me toward the next conversation. If you know someone with a story worth sharing, I’d love to hear about them.

If something here made you smile, pause, or think, share it. Tag a friend. Leave a note. I read every one, and you never know whose story might show up next.